Here’s an experiment I thought I would try: try reversing the sentence order in some of my works and see what happens (make the last sentence first, next to last second, etc.). I tried this with a few and it seemed to work best with “A Particular Sunset,” originally published as part of my Thinly Sliced Raw Fish project here.
Here’s the new “backwards” story:
The three of us in the hospital room and it’s more like sunrise, tired eyes and delirious smiles. Outside, snow and rain, white pellets tinkling against the window. The world a blur, sleeping an hour at a time. I remember her wrapped in pink blanket. Beautiful, certainly, but I didn’t understand. The sky orange and red, the day’s blue washing away. You described it as like a baby being born.
In case you didn’t feel like clicking the link, here’s the original:
You described it as like a baby being born. The sky orange and red, the day’s blue washing away. Beautiful, certainly, but I didn’t understand. I remember her wrapped in pink blanket. The world a blur, sleeping an hour at a time. Outside, snow and rain, white pellets tinkling against the window. The three of us in the hospital room and it’s more like sunrise, tired eyes and delirious smiles.
I think I still like the original better, though I don’t think the reverse version is that far off.
I feel like this says something about writing in general that you can reverse the order of sentences and still have a coherent story. What it is, exactly, that it says... I have no idea. I like the original better, too, but I like the placement of of the "baby being born" sentence better in the backwards story.
ReplyDeleteExcellent idea. I'm going to try it right now on my own stuff.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me a piece in the book The Planets by James Finney Boylan called Palindrome for Unhappy Marriage. It's a whole piece of dialogue - an argument between a couple - that can just as easily be read backwards as forwards. That always impressed me.
I like how reversing this story changes the focus too. You can see where the description of the sky could come from in the reverse version, while that's the thing the narrator didn't understand in the original.
Nice