Friday, January 22, 2010

Monte Cristo

The day after he kidnapped her, made her the victim her friends always said she’d be, he brought her first meal: a Monte Cristo. He left her tied to a chair in the motel room, ESPN turned on to high volume. He returned, untied her, opened the Styrofoam container. She looked at the sandwich then at him like he was insane. A deep fried sandwich, ham, swiss, turkey, covered in powdered sugar, raspberry preserves on the side, a big order of fries. He shrugged his shoulders. Hungry, she scarfed it down, furiously scraping the cup for every last raspberry drop. It gave her heartburn. It was the best thing she had ever had. She wanted another two days later. They moved from town to town. He bought them for her when he could find them. He stopped tying her up, stopped playing the criminal. After two weeks they were in love.

A year later, after they fudged their way through kidnapping charges, they married. Why a Monte Cristo, she asked once, of all things? It was said to be Princess Diana’s favorite, he said. A meal fit for you, a princess. Had you considered killing me, she asked later. Never, he said. But the criminal was back. Again she was the victim.

15 comments:

  1. this one is tasty - but the weirdest version of a MC I've ever heard of?? too sweet - give me a croque monsieur any day..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Talk about Pavlov... great quirky tale. Where'd this one come from? Peace, Linda

    ReplyDelete
  3. So dark! So spare! Reads like a Coen brothers. I like very much.
    ~Simon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rather chilling! I took the Monte Cristo as a light touch in a very dark tale. Excellent.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for commenting, everyone.

    Michael, I’ll have to do some field research on the croque monsieur some time. Here I’m thinking a pedestrian Bennigan’s monte cristo fits this guy perfectly.

    Linda, somehow, I often come up with kidnapping stories. I don’t know why. Somehow, the kidnapper and the kidnapped falling in love by way of monte cristos made sense.

    xTx: No doubt about that!

    Skycycler: The Coen brothers? You just made my day!

    Laura: Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, that's a bit creepy to say the least! Very disturbing...I feel this relationship isn't going to end well!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Stockholm syndrome and Monte Cristo sandwich! Quite an international tone to your eccentric, wry, and dark story.

    Yes, it's well done!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Quite dark this! Found the language didn't quite flow for me, but a nice little disturbing tale!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Once a kidnapper, always a kidnapper? Don't want to know where he goes from there...yikes. Creep factor: 10.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You've sold me. I'll try one of these Monte Cristo's, but only from a platonic chef.

    ReplyDelete
  11. If you have to get kidnapped - Monte Cristos and travel sounds good. Sounds like a stalker, wonder how long it will last now that he has his victim?

    ReplyDelete
  12. heh, I thought Monte Cristos were cigars.
    This is quite the creepy romance!

    ReplyDelete
  13. John stole my thoughts. I want a Monte Cristo, but I'll have it delivered and left on my doorstep.

    Nice, concise piece.

    ReplyDelete